The Desire of My Heart

Wisdom Wednesday

Yesterday, the boys and I read our daily chapter of Little Pilgrim's Progress. We are almost to the end of the journey. In yesterday's read, the foolish character, Ignorance, reaches the end of his so-called pilgrimage. When he arrives at the gates of the Celestial City, he does not have the scroll that is needed to be allowed to enter in because he never passed by the cross. He thought it unnecessary and felt sure that as long as he walked the path to the City, obeying the King's commands, the King would be sure to allow him into the Kingdom.

How wrong he was. What happened next brought to mind Mat 7:22-23 which says, "Many will say to Me in that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name do many works of power? And then I will declare to them, I never knew you; depart from Me, those working lawlessness!" Ignorance quickly learned that his works were in vain. His lack of faith in the King's own Son condemned him and his efforts. He was bound and carried away from the presence of the King.

As we finished reading, I looked at BT. Tears were streaming down his little face. "Did this chapter make you afraid?" I asked, wondering if it was too heavy of a topic. "No," he said and sobbed even harder. He fell into my arms and explained that his tears were good because he knew that what happened to Ignorance would never happen to him.

Soon, we were both crying as he explained that he understood that Ignorance was condemned because he had put his faith in his own efforts. He told me in his own child-like words that on the cross Jesus had taken on BT's sins. That Jesus had endured the wrath that BT deserves. That Jesus died and rose again. That faith in Jesus is the only way to salvation.

Sometimes I wonder if our homeschool makes the grade, if it meets the academic standards my boys need to be competitive in the 21st Century. Other times I get frustrated by the "socialization" question. I hear this argument so often that I almost begin to believe it.


However, moments like the one we experienced yesterday provide clarity. As I held my precious little boy, I knew that God's grace was at work and that He will be faithful to complete the good work that He has begun. I don't have to get everything right. I can't. I don't need to worry about the world's opinion. It won't change our standing with God.

Instead, I must spend my days at home, finding pleasure in the Lord's will, praising Him for what He has accomplished, praying that I will keep an eternal perspective. For that which I desire most has nothing to do with academics or socialization and everything to do with eternity. My heart's desire is that my boys will grow to be first and foremost faithful servants of Jesus Christ. I pray for the faith to "Delight [myself] in the Lord, that He may give [me] [my] heart's desire." Psalm 37:4