Wednesday, December 10, 2008

One in Her Arms

Wisdom Wednesday

In my first Wisdom Wednesday post, "Why Homeschool Dawn?", I shared my Christian testimony. A few weeks later I wrote "Harvest Time" in which I revealed the greatest lesson I learned as an inner-city teacher. The next month I continued the chronology of my life's lessons in "The Strong Tower." In it I wrote about how God's sovereignty became my resting place as I faced the challenges of infertility and miscarriages. After reading these posts, a few of my bloggy friends sent me e-mails asking for the rest of the story. I will probably dedicate a few more posts to this series of testimonies, but for now, here is the next installment.

After the doctor had the dreaded talk with us, Michael and I decided we were not ready to begin fertility testing. We had been told that things did not look good for us and that we should be prepared for the worst. We knew that would require extra measures of grace. The school year had just begun, so we committed to spend the year praying for that grace and focusing on the work to be done at our schools.

I taught third grade at DES, Dilapidated Elementary School. No, that is not its real name but the pseudonym I have given it in order to protect the innocent. DES was in one of Memphis's poorest neighborhoods, not far from the Mighty Mississippi. It was a "best practices" school. That probably is not what immediately comes to mind when you think "inner city" and may come across as a bit pretentious. It's really just a term used in education circles to indicate a dedication to looking beyond oneself. We sought out what was working at other successful schools, not just in our district but nationally.

Before Christmas break our school decided to adopt a program widely used in the New York Public Schools, specifically at primary schools in Manhattan. A team of five teachers was chosen to go to NYC and observe schools using the program. I was selected as a member of the team.

We arrived in Manhattan in late January and spent a week and a half observing and taking notes. About mid-way through our stay, I experienced dizzy spells. My colleagues said it was probably from riding the subway and elevators. That might seem silly, but I do get motion sickness and am afraid of heights. However, I thought I was getting an ear infection.

Once back home, I went to the doctor expecting to be given a prescription for antibiotics but received prenatal vitamins instead.

What a great day it was when I held BT in my arms. He was born without any problems, full of life. Everyone had a different response. There was laughter. There were tears. Michael jumped around the delivery room, smiling from ear to ear.

All I could do was hold BT and feel the comforting presence of the Lord. It had been an arduous journey, filled with heartache. But, He had been with me every step of the way. His will had been accomplished in losing and in receiving. And I was fully aware that the gift of this little baby was His alone to give. Just as Hannah rejoiced in God's Sovereignty after the birth of Samuel, my heart sang, "There is no one holy like the Lord. There is no God but you. There is no Rock like our God." 1 Sam 2:2

People often ask me what happened. Did the doctors know what had caused the previous miscarriages? Had we opted for a particular therapy? At that time, however, there was no medical explanation, only the knowledge that as our Sovereign God willed, "the woman who was unable to have children, now had seven." 1 Sam 2:5

Well, at least three… two, possibly more, in heaven and one in her arms.


Amy W said...

What a beautiful testimony of God's divine timing!! As you know, our situations are similar, but mine occurred AFTER having a child. There was a medical term for that, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it is!! :) I guess I should share my testimony about that as well. I love your "installments"! :) BTW, I'm SO glad that I made it back onto your "Blogs I Follow" list! I was getting worried that I had offended you or something! LOL! :) Thank you for sharing something that is deeply personal as well as sharing your heart. God uses ALL things to His glory!! :)

Christy@MercyEveryMorning said...

Thanks for sharing...I loved reading your story. I well remember the relief of holding our ds in the delivery room after the long nine months of hoping this time everything would be ok. I kept checking to make sure he was breathing, and then I noticed the song on our labor cd that was playing...Twila Paris' song, "The Light is Shining." I couldn't cry...just kind of shuddered a few BIG sighs of relief. The tears of joy fell a few days later as I rocked him in his little room where I'd prayed and prayed that he would be ok. God is so gracious.

Amy...please do share your testimony!!

Home School Dawn said...

Thanks Amy and Christy.

I imagine if we had known while we were at the BSU what our futures held, we would have held more tightly to each other. It is really special to have reunited with you two through blogging and to be able to share our stories. Our experiences could have been the weeds that grew up beside us and choked the life from us. I rejoice in the Lord that instead He has done a sanctifying work in us, causing us to persevere. It is so good to have friends from way back who are continuing to grow in the Lord.

Love you guys!

p.s. Sorry again Amy about the blog list mishap.

Amy W said...

Thanks, Dawn!! I feel the same way!! I think it is SO wonderful that we all have been able to reconnect this way, too! What's even more special to me is that we all know each other's spouses from back then, and that our spouses all know each other from way back as well. How often do you see that?!? That is truly amazing, and such a blessing from God! He is SO good!! :)