Monday, June 22, 2009

Not Me Monday: Just Not Me

I have not been reading Not Me Monday segments on other mom's blogs. I have not found them encouraging… not at all. I do not find it helpful to know that other moms are not perfect. I do not feel a little better about myself after learning that some other moms out there are fallible and limited and are forgetful sometimes because that is just not me… not me at all.

For instance, I do not sometimes fill my crock pot with the ingredients for a yummy dinner at 8 a.m. and then return to it at 5 p.m. to serve my meal only to find that I had never turned on the crock pot. I did not leave my meal to sit for 8 hours and go bad. That's just not me. I also have not filled the crock pot, turned it on, and realized 8 hours later that I never plugged it in. No, not me either. I would never do that.
While on the subject of cooking, which is obviously not a problem area for me, I do not put food in the oven to bake and return later to find it ice cold because I never turned the oven on. I do not have problems remembering to turn on appliances. That is just not me… not me at all.
I also do not enjoy reading about the children of the "Not Me" families. It is not a relief that there are other kids out there who make messes, try to keep outlandish pets, or commit other blog-worthy acts. Hearing about the imperfections of others' children is not helpful at all because my children are not rambunctious, not in the least.
Just to help you understand how not rambunctious my boys are, let me share a hypothetical situation. This is merely conjecture because my boys, remember, are not rambunctious. While I was painting the living room, Wilbur did not come to me and ask if he and Orville could hold a fire drill. After I didn't tell him "no", he and his brother did not disobey me. They would never do that… like I said, they are not rambunctious.
I did not later go to their room to find Wilbur leaning out the window yelling, "Go to the back door, Orville." Orville had not fallen out of his window during the fire drill that they did not have. Orville was not afraid to go to the back door because he did not think that I would not notice him not coming in and knew that I would not realize what he had not done. He did not fear the discipline that was not to come. He was not trying to climb up the side of the house and come back in through the window.
When he did not finally come in through the back door, I did not see his little, sweet face and suddenly think of a thousand different injuries that he could not have incurred from not falling out the window. I did not grab him and cry and thank God for his protection. I did not hug Orville for the next two hours. That's just not me either.
Also, hypothetically speaking, I did not one day send the boys to their beds for a quiet time because the noise had not become unbearable. I did not return to my painting, enjoy the quiet and get so involved in my work that I forgot about the boys not being on their beds. I did not leave them there for 2 hours before realizing that they were still not there. I have not told you before that I am not forgetful, have I?
I did not run to their room and I did not find Wilbur on his bunk crying. I did not assume that he was crying because he thought I had forgotten about him and I did not feel like a horrible mother. I was not surprised when he did not exclaim, "Mommy, I need to confess." I did not nearly burst into laughter when he did not say next, "I sinned like David." His grievous sin had not been breaking the rod you twist on a blind to open it while he had not been in his room for 2 hours because I had not forgotten about him. I was not touched by his sensitive conscience and I did not hug him for 2 hours afterward. Nope, that's just not me.
So, you see, Not Me Mondays really are just not for me. I do not have a wealth of material to draw upon for these spots and will not be writing them as often as I can.


argsmommy said...

LOL! I forgot to turn on the crock pot just yesterday! Thankfully, it was just baked potatoes, so I didn't have to throw anything away. I'm glad I'm not the only one...oh, I forgot you never do that. : )


Gingerbread Mommy said...

hilarious! i am nothing like that either! (lol)

RaisingOlives said...

I do not have any difficulty with memory either. I feel so sorry for those poor women who forget basic things like plugging in a crock pot. I would never do that and then be stuck feeding the family eggs and toast for dinner, nope not me!

Just a word of warning about writing Not Me's. Once you start your readers won't let you stop. I get emails all the time about how my Not Me's are the favorite part of my blog. All my hard work on deep, thoughtful posts like homeschool vs public schools or classrooms or practical posts like how to make your own playsilks and readers just want to laugh at me and know that I'm not perfect.

I didn't post a Not Me one week and SEVERAL of my friends mentioned how disappointed they were. Don't say I didn't warn you.

So now, I loved your not me and will now be expecting one next week! :)